Five Minutes Of Madness abandoned, sorry :
by squishypinapples
Summary: ABANDONED.What happens when Snape leaves his 7th years in a classroom together… with a rather obviously disguised love potion… who knew so much could happen in five minutes… but ultimately, Harry, Ron and Hermione are always friends...
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, sadly…

Summary: What happens when Snape leaves his 7th years in a classroom together… with a (rather obviously) disguised love potion… who knew so much could happen in five minutes…

A I don't particularly like this pairing together as a romantic interest, but as the pairing was suggested to me by Rosepraul; I am therefore going to try it, so enjoy, it's a light-hearted story, and has probably been done before, but I hope it is still enjoyable… all I know about this story so far is that ultimately it will reflect friendship…

Five Minutes of Madness.

**Prologue**

Five minutes was all it took.

Five minutes for the entire social system of the seventh year Gryffindor's and Slytherin's to erode into dust. It would be forgotten; be unabashedly discarded.

It all started during one Gryffindor and Slytherin double potions lesson. The students were the best of the best. So naturally a few people wondered why Harry and Ron were in the class, not to mention Lavender Brown, she was the biggest surprise. Perhaps if those few people had been using their wits on this same day, none of this would have happened, although, really, what fun is that?

The first sign that something was amiss was the pretty box on Snapes desk at the start of class. It looked like a box of chocolates. A box of Honeydukes hazelnut praline chocolates, to be precise; they were Ron's favourite; incidentally, perhaps, they were also Blaise's.

The second sign was when Snape had to leave class for 'five minutes' telling them all sternly 'that they better stay in their seats and be quite or there would be hell to pay.'

Naturally this meant that once he was out of the room all the students got up and started chatting to each other.

**Chapter One**: **Before**

'Ron!' Hermione's voice drifted warningly over the chatter, 'don't you dare even think of opening that box of chocolates on Professor Snapes desk!'

'What? Me?' Ron turned around to face Hermione and Harry who were still sitting at their table, 'me? Me? I would never… I wouldn't think of doing such a thing…' his voice trailed off as he slowly started inching towards the chocolates again.

Hermione just sighed, looking over at Harry, 'there isn't any hope, is there? For him.'

'Nope' Harry answered with slightly grim expression on his face, 'he's addicted. It must be something they put in the praline'

'Gosh' Hermione sighed 'praline, don't make me think about it! So good… we may be in the wizarding world but I could kill for some of those Lindt Lindor chocolates….'

'Mhmmmmm' was the only response she got out of the boy next to her.

'Oh, but moving away from the chocolate topic' Hermione began as she finished reflecting on the joys of chocolate, 'how's the old love life going?'

'Love life?' Harry looked up at her questioningly 'Since when have I ever had a love life?'

Hermione rolled her eyes 'of course you have some kind of love life! Well, even if it's apparently non-existent'

'well then, that's what it is, non-existent. Since Ginny and I Broke up…. But I think she's better with Seamus anyways, she always did like Irish accents…'

Hermione rolled her eyes at him again 'you already know I know about you and Ginny, you twat, you're both two of my best friends for Christ's sake! As if I wouldn't know what was going on… ' Poking her tongue out playfully she finished with an after thought, 'after all, I am the smartest witch of our age…' this time it was Harry's turn to roll his eyes.

'I don't mind about it all you know,' Harry mused out loud to her 'we're past that now, I think. I knew at the end of last year that there was a chance I'd lose her. Besides, it just wasn't the right time, and I think in the end we both felt that you know, that pressure to be together and get happily married as soon as possible.'

'Yeah, I know,' Hermione smiled up at him as she spoke, 'I mean, we're in our seventh year, what's the rush to start the fairy tale? And sometimes, well sometimes I find that no matter how much you both want something, sometimes the timing isn't right.'

'Exactly!' Harry exclaimed as he beamed up at her, 'It doesn't mean that say, in like a few years or something, once we've both had time to like, change and stuff, to evolve, that it's a no go. Its just that right now, it's what neither us want, and really, are into.'

Hermione laughed at his words, her eyes shining cheekily, 'trust me Harry, no one has to but see the look's you've been shooting at Pavarti to tell that's the case!'

Harry sighed, burying his face in his hands, 'but the way I treated her at the Yule Ball! My behaviour! It was so….so…'

'Thoughtless?' Hermione offered.

'Yeah.'

'Well, that was like, three years ago! I'm sure she'd find it rather cute and endearing if you apologised and asked her out to Hogsmead'

'But I don't want to be seen as cute or endearing! Urgh!'

'What,' Hermione smiled mischievously at his look of disgust at the words, 'do you want her to think of you as irresistible, charming…'Harry started nodding bashfully 'and sexy…' at this is ear's pricked up and he glared at the playful smile on her face.

'You're pure evil, you know that, don't you Hermione?'

'Sure do'

It was at that precise moment the pair was disturbed from their conversation by the banging and clashing that could only come from the overturning of desks. Both inwardly groaned, thinking the same thing "Ron"; and sure enough, as they looked around they saw an entangled Ronald Weasley and Blaise Zabini, fighting over Snape's chocolates.

Every occupant of the classroom had turned around to observe their fight, although admittedly the only other occupants of the room were Lavender Brown, Pansy Parkinson and Draco Malfoy.

Funnily enough it was Draco Malfoy who came up with the smart suggestion, although Blaise and Ron hardly heard it the first time as they were currently attempting to lick a few of the chocolates so no body else would eat them.

'So,' Hermione shouted over the din Blaise and Ron were making, 'What was your suggestion Malfoy?'

'Why don't we all just share the chocolates?'

The two boys on the floor seemed to freeze, shooting suspicious glances at each other. The other occupants of the room took the opportunity to roll their eyes at them. The two boys glared, saying in perfect sync 'don't you glare at me' before they turned to face each other, glaring at the other for daring to be the same as them.

The situation made Lavender burst into a peel of giggles, and Hermione soon joined her, and Pansy followed soon after; which caused Draco to mutter something about the girl 'joining the dark side because they had cookies'.

Harry just gave him a weird look and asked 'did you just call _us_ the dark side?'

Draco just raised his eyebrow at him before resuming his glaring. Lavender turned around to look at Draco before she turned back the other girls and whispered 'gosh he's handsome when he's angry', which sent the girls into another fit of giggles, Hermione only managing to choke out 'and where have I heard a line like that before?'

'Ok, everyone' Harry began diplomatically, 'just settle down' he eyed the giggling girls who looked up at him doe-eyed as they tried to calm down. 'So why don't we all just split it, like now, give me those chocolates you two, so we can divvy them up'

Ron and Blaise handed over half the chocolates, Ron keeping a few his hand as the explained 'you might not want these ones… I kind of licked them…' Lavender wrinkled her nose disgust at his words.

Draco shot her a confused as he asked 'but didn't you used to go out with him? Surely you wouldn't have an aversion to his saliva…'

Lavender rolled her eyes at him 'used to being the key phrase in that sentence' she pointed out. Draco smirked to himself as he noticed that Lavender Brown did indeed have a brain.

Everyone took a chocolate, but Hermione found herself hesitating as Harry held the remaining chocolate out to her. A brief image of the biblical scene flashed in her mind, of the woman biting the apple. She heard Harry voice as she stared with suspicion down at the box.

'Come on Hermione, take one' he encouraged.

'Yeah Hermione' she heard Ron's voice call out 'they're pretty damn good' he added, licking his lips.

Hermione hesitantly took the delectable looking chocolate and raised it to her lips, placing it hesitantly on her tongue. As she felt the chocolate begin she looked up, startled by a sudden movement in front of her.

It was Ron, she realised, and he was coming towards her, no towards… Pansy? She saw the hungry expression in his eyes as he seemed to stalk towards the girl, who by no means seemed troubled by his approach.

Then something clicked inside her brain. But it was too late, she realised, as she felt the last remnants of the chocolate melt in her mouth; she knew that she too would soon feel the effects of the love potion. And there wasn't anything she could do about it.

But any thoughts of love potions banished themselves from her brain as she finally appreciated what a brilliant green Harry's eyes were.

A/N: Ok, so what do people think? Yay or nay? It'll just be a short fic, maybe a few more chapters, but that's it….


	2. 2: four minutes to go

Chapter Two: 4 minutes to go…

Previously:

_But any thoughts of love potions banished themselves from her brain as she finally appreciated what a brilliant green Harry's eyes were._

She couldn't believe how green they were, just this pure, untouched emerald green. It was amazing. She found she was fascinated by his eyes, which, incidentally were now locked onto hers, matching her curious, enlightened stare.

She found that those startling emerald eyes entranced her, that she wanted nothing more than to be closer to them. As if in a trance she began to walk slowly towards him, her eyes never leaving his, she didn't want to look away, she couldn't look away –they were so mesmerising.

It was so strange, she thought, so peculiar, that she should feel this way. It was all so sudden, the feelings were so overwhelming, and she didn't know where they even came from, but knew that it was what she had always wanted.

When she looked up and saw him smile down at her, she felt herself melt. No look, no touch had ever made her feel so much.

This revelation caused her to trip over something –or rather, someone. As she stumbled up, reaching for Harry as he pulled her up from the ground, the back of her mind registered that she had tripped over Blaise, who seemed to reaching out angrily for someone.

But this immediate thought didn't even get to register in her consciousness, as she was so focus on him.

As he drew her in close he was all she could think about. She found that as much as she liked it here, in his arms, she wasn't fully content. No, she knew she couldn't be, not yet, not when she still had so much to explore, for she knew instinctively that there was so much more of him to immerse herself in.

She didn't like the shrieks and grunts of the people around her –it was disturbing. It took away from the time she had with him. But, she noticed as Harry lightly trailed kisses down her neck, it didn't matter so much anymore, the only thing that did was the feel of his lips on her skin. Nothing had ever felt this good.

The sensation felt so strange, she thought, it wasn't like anything she'd ever felt before…it all seemed so knew an experience, his touch. It set her alive; it made her _feel_. She wasn't used to such an intensity of feeling when some one was kissing her in such away, but then again, she thought, no one had ever seemed to care for her so much in this way, to put so much care, love and passion into one feather-light kiss.

She was used to kisses being relatively nice, she could enjoy them, Krum hadn't been too bad, and neither had Ernie MacMillan, but this something entirely different. And not in a bad way, like Cormac had been. This was something she could happily and contentedly enjoy for the rest of her life.

**A/N:** ok, I realise this a quite a short chapter, but I think it suits the minute-by-minute theme… (I think that's how it's working, anyway) well thankyou all so much for reading :) and I hope the chapter was enjoyable, and gives one a sense of what's happening.

And big, enormous thankyou's to everyone who added this story to their alerts, those who added it to their favourites, and it's only been one chapter so far *squee!* but I must say it was absolutely awesome to receive reviews and comment's, it really helps the writing process, so thankyou muchly, to _dennisud_, _Lily_ _Witchcraft_ and _flamingshadowgirl_ for the comment's/reviews :D


	3. 3: three minutes to go

Chapter three: three minutes to go…

Previously:

_She was used to kisses being relatively nice, she could enjoy them, Krum hadn't been too bad, and neither had Ernie MacMillan, but this something entirely different. And not in a bad way, like Cormac had been. This was something she could happily and contentedly enjoy for the rest of her life._

It was quite a sight, really, seven students all head-over-heels and in throes of passion, during a potions lesson. Although Hogwarts did seem to be a place full of surprises and strange, unnatural occurrences, this one really seemed to take the cake.

On a desk in the middle of the class room Hermione Granger could been seen snogging Harry Potter's brains out, whilst Pansy Parkinson took turns in cheering for Ronald Weasley and Blaise Zabini who were both fighting over her affection; and by doing so the three succeeding in creating quite a racket due to the number of furniture they seem to be breaking.

However, perhaps it is in the corner of the room, the back corner near the potions storeroom, that there is the most curious sight of all.

Perhaps it is curious because it isn't wanting. It doesn't demand attention, it doesn't seem forced, or to be caught hysterically midst the whirlwind of passion. It's just two people, one boy, or a young man, staring nervously, yet arrestingly, up at a girl, or a young woman, to whom which his look is full of adoration and warmth. And she, in her turn, looks down at him; her smile could never be more bright or sincere.

Perhaps what also makes it curious is because of the words he spoke to her, they were soft, yet spoken with inflexible determination. That when he spoke his eyes lighted up like a fire and proceeded to twinkle playfully as he made his suggestion. That she only had to continue smiling, and pull him up from his bended knee, for him to know her answer.

Perhaps it is because it was something that would help the break down the barricades at Hogwarts. It really was a curious event.

But the corner isn't really a safe place when you have an angry Blaise throwing furniture.

'You Prick!' Draco Malfoy yelled at Blaise whilst he hid Lavender protectively behind him. He picked up the offending stool and shook it in his best mates face, continuing with 'you could have hit her!'

'Whoa, mate whoa,' Blaise started, his hands held up in a sign of either peace or submission, 'I didn't do anything…'

'You didn't' Draco snarled menacingly at him, 'well get your head out of the sand Blaise! And the same goes for you Weasley-' Draco whipped around to address Ron. But he was gone. A look of bewilderment came across his face as he searched for the red hair.

'NO! Damnt' Blaise screamed as he noticed that both Ron and Pansy were gone. 'No, no, no, no, no!' he muttered in increasingly furious tones. Draco shot him a questioning glance. 'The weasel has got pansy' was the only reply he gave before he shot off out the door, determined to find them –there was no way he wanted _him_ being the one to snog the life out of her.

And that left all the other students in the room with only one option. Affected by a love potion they may be, but it didn't for one moment take the humour out of the situation. So they laughed.

They laughed so much they were crippled on the floor from the pain; and it would have seemed that the four had truly descended to a state of madness when Draco cheerfully announced to both Harry and Hermione that he and Lavender were getting married. Hermione rushed to hug a euphoric Lavender as she gushed her congratulations to the girl, were as Harry and Draco settled for a gruff man hug.

It was a moment of madness, but possibly not as mad as the moment when Harry suggested they all quickly pop over to Hogsmead for a moment so they could tie the knot, which was even more Bizarre as Lavender was all for it, despite having dreamed of planning her wedding day since she was a young girl.

But perhaps it was even more mad that they thought they could do it all in 3 minutes.

A/N: well I hope this chapter was enjoyable… :) do let me know, if you did or if you didn't :) for I don't know unless you tell me :)

And thankyou very much to those people who reviewed/left a comment! Nzgurliedilemma, Blue Gem 45, xXMizLilyEvansXx, ginervaweasleyrocks and Lily Witchcraft.


	4. 4: 2 minutes and 23 seconds to go

Chapter four: two minutes and twenty three seconds to go…

Previously:

_But perhaps it was even more mad that they thought they could do it all in 3 minutes_.

And it was at this precise moment that Harry's brain kicked into overdrive, or as he liked to think of it "spy-mode".

Whenever he used this term he found himself up against a great deal of opposition from his two best friends.

Hermione thought he was being ridiculous as he wasn't a spy and said that even if he was, if he used this mode of his brain operations he would probably end up dead. She liked to call it "the-state-in-which-harry-comes-up-with-ridiculous-and-improbable-plans-that-endanger-everyone-but-himself-or-turn-out-to-be-just-plain-silly." She was, however, working on a more condensed name, and an acronym, but had yet to decide on one.

Ron however, just gave him blank looks until Hermione explained what a spy was, its significance and mystic in the muggle world, and he then would continue to bother Harry with arguments and questions about why it wasn't called "auror-mode", because, after all "we _are_ wizards you know."

So, poor Harry and his mind were all alone for support. But this time it was different. This time the plan was to try and get Draco Malfoy and Lavender Brown married in two minutes. And this time Hermione was under love potion. And Ron was off with Pansy Parkinson. Perhaps Harry's brain would truly have its chance to make its mark on the world.

He swiftly turned around to everyone in the potions room.

'Right' he started to speak to Hermione, Lavender and Draco, 'ok, to do this we're going to have to be quick and fast, so' he grabbed Hermione's hand and pulled her towards the exit, 'come on! We haven't got a minute to loose!'

And they all started running, out of the room, down the corridor, following Harry as he led them towards the entrance to Honeydukes behind the one-eyed witch. And as they Ran, they made plans.

'So,' Harry started again, 'by my reckoning, from the potions room to the statue it might take us 30 seconds if we push it…'

'But that's up two flights of stairs!' lavender called back, her voice strained as she tried to breath and run at the same time. 'I know you two guys do Quidditch all the time… but I don't'

'And neither do I! There is no way I can keep this up' Hermione panted.

'But wait!' Hermione stopped suddenly, and face palmed violently as she exclaimed, to apparently no one 'why didn't I think of this before?'

Draco gave her a weird look, whilst Harry made to hurry her along to get her running again. But Hermione just smiled at them, muttered something over them all and promptly sprinted ahead, leaving three startled faces in her wake.

They all just looked after her –somewhat blankly before to catch up with her at which point they all seemed to notice that the running seemed to take no effort at all and seemed kind of…_fast_… which made Lavender suddenly laugh.

'Of course!' she cried out in elation and wonderment, 'you've cast one of those speed charms professor Flitwick was talking about! Good work Hermione… good work.'

The other girl just smiled back at her as they reached the one-eyed witch.

'So,' Draco checked his watch, we've got about 2 minutes and 37 seconds to get married… so now what do we do about making that happen?'

Harry smiled satisfactorily as he turned to the others –he was confident he would be the hero –but more importantly that he would prove Hermione wrong about his "spy-mode" brain.

'Ok, so, you and Hermione will apparate us out to Hogsmead, where we can quickly get some rings from Gladrags-' Harry began.

'Actually,' Draco cut in, 'I already have two rings'

'What?' Harry and Hermione exclaimed in perfect unison

'And since when do Gladrags sell rings?' Lavender looked at Harry curiously 'didn't you realise its were a clothing store?'

Harry sighed out of exasperation as he answered 'Of course I know it's a clothing store-'

'But then why did you suggest we should get rings from there?'

Draco scoffed as he draped his arm casually around Lavender 'as if I would ever get a ring from there' he reassured her.

She looked up at him doe-eyed 'but they don't have rings there!'

'Will you all just be quiet!' Hermione cried out in a vain act of desperation to grasp everyone's attention. And Grasp everyone one's attention she did.

Including the attention of the two people hidden in a dark nook, which the four had incidentally failed to notice until now. And surprisingly enough it wasn't Ron and Pansy.

A/N: well I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Do let me know :) (once again, if you did/didn't, or just anything, really)

And **also**, I am incredibly sorry for this, but I probably won't be able to add any more chapter's till after my VCE exams are over… because I really should study for them… **so please bear with me** :)

And many thanks to those wonderful people who review/comment –it gives me such encouragement for the chapters, and it's really great to know what you guys are thinking about the story so far :D so many, many thanks to_… XedwardismyromeoX, Proffessor Albus Martin, dbzgtfan2004, Gandalf the Grey-Edelwiess, dennisud, xXMizLilyEvansXx, Mikeo6464, Lily Witchcraft _and _ginnylovesharry07_


	5. 5: two minutes to go

Chapter five: Two minutes to go…

Previously:

'_Will you all just be quiet!' Hermione cried out in a vain act of desperation to grasp everyone's attention. And Grasp everyone one's attention she did._

_Including the attention of the two people hidden in a dark nook, which the four had incidentally failed to notice until now. And surprisingly enough it wasn't Ron and Pansy. _

It was the gasp and screams of fright that gave away the two people.

But still, they couldn't be fully seen, Harry noticed. He wondered who they were, perhaps a cheeky couple, sneaking away from classes or enjoying a spare.

The thought made him look at the girl next to him. Her hair was a complete mess, wild and untameable as usual; little ringlet's, luscious curls and loose waves cascaded mid way down the girls back -it was so effortless. It was so boundless. He just wanted to run his hands though it.

But he didn't; he refrained, contenting himself with briefly tucking a stand behind her ear before entangling her hand with his, causing the girl to beam up at him.

But no; Harry could not let himself get distracted by the girl next to him –he had something to prove, and he was going to prove it. If only she would stop drawing those circles on his hand with her thumb, if only she would stop placing delicate kisses on his neck as they lingered behind the investigation. If only she would stop being the most irresistible thing that had been placed on the metaphorical platter in front of him.

She was more seductive than a bag of assorted Lindt chocolates on a night in, she was more refreshing than a Zooper Dooper on a 40 degree day, and she was more heartening than a Butterbeer. She was, essentially, everything that Harry had ever needed or wanted in that one moment.

But he had to focus. He had to be a spy. And he had to find out who the couple in the corner were. It didn't last very long.

Harry found himself blinking, not just once, but twice, which turned into thrice as he still failed to take in the couple before him. It just couldn't be. It was an act against nature itself.

For Neville Longbottom didn't have a girlfriend. And there was no way he could possibly have a Slytherin one at that. Yet, somehow, standing in front of him was evidence to the contrary. And it was quite compelling evidence. He briefly wondered if it would scar him for life.

Who would have guessed that Neville and Astoria Greengrass had it going on?

'Gahhh' Harry finally called out in delayed shock whilst reaching to cover his eyes with his arms, 'my eyes! They're burning! Neville! No, no, no, no! Neville… girl… no shirt… my eyes!'

Everyone one just turned around to look at him in shock, before Hermione let out a laugh or two at his behaviour and rolled her eyes before commenting; 'Geesh harry, after sharing a dorm with the guy for six years you'd think you'd have gotten used to seeing the guy without his shirt on'

'But it's Neville! And he's with a girl! And he has no shirt' Harry looked at her, begging to see the logic in his whines.

'Way to spot the obvious' Lavender muttered under her breath.

He looked around at them all, from the amused Hermione by his side, to the loved-up Draco and Lavender who watched him with identical looks of exasperation as they cuddled close to one another, until finally, his eyes came to rest on the newest couple.

They stood on the edge of the group; the girl had her head buried into the crook of Neville's neck, as his arms were wrapped securely, possessively around her frame. And some how, despite Harry's outburst, both seemed at ease in the awkward situation. And by the upward twitch of Neville's lips one might even think he found Harry's speech, like Hermione, rather amusing.

After he had looked at each and every one of them Harry began to speak. He spoke slowly, passionately –trying desperately to impress upon them what he was on about.

'You see, this isn't just about finding someone in a deserted corridor snogging their girlfriend,' he paused to create emphasis as he looked around at them, 'this' he continued valiantly, 'is about much more than that. This is about what makes Neville the Neville Longbottom we know. This is about the symbol he is, and what he stands for, for all of us-'

'You mean that up until now all we used to be able to say "well at least I'm doing better than Longbottom" but now we can't?' Draco interrupted.

Harry shot him a dark look before carrying on '-No, it's not about that. Its about the fact that Neville has been the rock, the base of goodness and innocence, he has been Neville the Incorruptible!'

Everyone just looked at him with raised eyebrows.

'Harry –' Hermione began, light mockery in her voice as she placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, 'there comes a time in one's life when things change, as we grow older, we can start to have feelings-'

'-Yes, Hermione, I'll well aware of the cycle of life-' Harry interrupted tersely, causing the girl to roll her eyes at his myopia to her teasing.

'Well then perhaps you should remember that when you see Neville and Astoria making out,' Lavender pointed out 'after all, it's only them building their relationship before they decide to, or not to, create some little witches and wizards together.'

The girl's statement caused Hermione to suppress a chuckle smile at Harry's startled expression to Lavender's frank telling of relationship evolution.

'But aren't we getting a bit sidetracked here?' Draco announced.

'That we are!' Harry cried as he leaped forward, seemingly eager to leave the topic of Neville's burgeoning love life, and any further consequences it might lead to. 'Come on you two!' He called with a new found bravado, 'Join us! We're off to get these two,' he gestured towards Draco and Lavender, 'married.'

'Ooooh! So you two are finally getting hitched then?' Astoria asked excitedly, 'Gosh Draco, you could have at least hinted it was this serious…'

Harry's ear's pricked up at her words, it was strange he thought, odd even, the way she talked, what she was saying; it didn't seem quite right. It didn't quite add up, for it was as if she was talking about Draco and Lavender as although they had been going out for over a year now, but if that had been happening, surely he would have heard about it?

Yet, for some strange reason, it didn't seem odd to him they were getting married. It seemed perfectly natural. And he couldn't quite figure out why.

'Oh hey, did you guys hear about the prank Colin, Ginny and Luna planned for Snape?' Neville asked Harry and Hermione as they all started along the tunnel to Hogsmead, interrupting Harry's own train of thought.

'What? No! Ginny's doing a prank… that ought to be dangerous' Harry chuckled as he replied, 'hmm,' he began to muse 'it's probably something she thought up whilst working at Fred and Georges over the summer, their influence must really be making it's mark. What was it?'

Hermione rolled her eyes at him, 'Honestly Harry, can you really believe it's that? Ginny's always had a mind for that kind of thing, and I was working there over the summer and you don't see me pulling pranks on Snape, do you?'

She allowed Harry to give a nod of acquiescence before continuing, 'anyway, it's probably just some of their hair care stuff –give him pink dreadlocks or something.'

'Well,' Neville started, 'actually it's-' but he Never got finish what he was saying, he never got to tell them what the prank was, because they had finally arrived at the Honeydukes trapdoor.

'Okay, well, what happens now?' Astoria addressed Harry and Draco.

Harry smiled; the question had been just the cue he needed to turn his "spy-mode" back on, after Hermione had so effectively disarmed it.

'Now,' he said, 'we go to the Hogshead, I'll send a Patronous ahead of us to let Aberforth know what's going on'

'But why would we want to go to the Hogshead, isn't that place a bit dodgy? And who is Aberforth?' Draco questioned, bewilderment laced through his tone.

'Well, first of all, Aberforth is the bartender there, and not many people know this, but, he has a marriage licence. Oh, and he's Dumbledore's brother.' Harry replied with an air of smugness.

'Well,' Neville said, clapping his hands together, 'it sounds like a plan, should we get going then? Good work Harry!'

'See,' Harry told Hermione as he grabbed her hand to head towards the Hogshead, 'Neville likes my "spy-mode". He even said it was good!'

Hermione just rolled her eyes.

**A/N:**

Okay, well, after I finally managed to finish exams at exactly 2.15 on the 16th I have finally managed to finish this chapter!

So I hope you enjoyed it! I really tried to give this one more direction, and add/be more specific about the plot direction, so **cancel21, thanks for catching me on that :) **and I would love to know if this one seems to address more of that side of things.

And sorry to write a really long author's note, but **just in case anyone is wondering**:

**Zooper Dooper's** are like those icy poles you get in the clear plastic tubes, They're usually near jelly and ice cream cones in the supermarket. I thought I'd better say what they were, as I'm not sure how international they are. But I assume there would be an equivalent. In fact I only found out what they were called last summer, so good on you if you knew straight off :)

And "Neville the Incorruptible" wormed its way into my brain after having the history exam, from Robespierre.

And so yeah, after 190 words, I'd like to say a big thanks to those who reviewed/commented on the last chapter; _flamingshadowgirl, MySisterThinksI'mCrazy__, __cancel21__, __nzgurliedilemma__, __Lily Witchcraft__, __XedwardismyromeoX__, __dennisud__, _and_Gandalf the Grey-Edelwiess_ :) continually hearing from many of you is continually awesome, and makes it so much easier to write :)


	6. 6: one minute to go

Chapter six: one minute to go…

Previously:

'_See,' Harry told Hermione as he grabbed her hand to head towards the Hogshead, 'Neville likes my "spy-mode". He even said it was good!'_

_Hermione just rolled her eyes._

They stepped out into Hogsmead, creeping quietly and stealthily –at Harry's bequest. He didn't want anything to jeopardise this mission.

And he would spare no lives –even the happy couple –if it meant keeping his mission intact. He was determined to be a serious spy. And for some strange reason he also felt the need to associate "serious" with "ruthless". The very idea made Hermione struggle to suppress the urge to whack Harry hard on the back of the head.

But alas she had some sense of propriety in her blood, which prevented her from partaking in such an action. It often made her wonder if she was distantly related to Elizabeth Bennet. And then she remembered she was a fictional character, and hoped she could at least settle for Jane Austen, before she remembered she didn't have any children. It was at this point she face palmed, shook her head rapidly from side to side, as if to get ridiculous thoughts out of her head, and face palmed again.

For any such audience one such a day, it would have been an interesting sight to behold; Harry Potter attempting to run quietly whilst leaving no footprints as he darted from behind the oak tree to sprint over to the rubbish bin; and Hermione Granger walking behind him, utterly focused on her face palming and head shaking.

Harry Potter, once he had reached the rubbish bin, found himself becoming increasingly annoyed at his female best friend. He tried narrowing his eyes dangerously as she approached –but no, she still remained oblivious. Sometimes her obliviousness would drive him insane. And she would always just brush it off in an offhanded manner.

It was as if she didn't care. It was like she didn't even notice. She just continued to metaphorically and literally walk over his well-laid plans, like now. Because, through her consumption in face palming and head shaking, she was following him. And she would probably destroy his cover, and his mission.

She had to be eliminated; or at least distracted. Or perhaps he should just run for it. Too many choices, so little time. Then he remembered he carried a few stink pellets around or this very reason but that no, he would have to do away with that idea, as she was a central figure in the operation.

So what was poor Harry to do? Naturally what any slightly deranged and desperate person in this situation would do, which in case made him gather all his strength and courage, before turning to face everyone, carefully running through his words and actions at top speed inside his mind.

He took a deep breath; he looked around at everyone, making his or her way hastily to the hogshead, before checking his watch: time was running short. He realised, instantly, in that moment, that now was not the time for spy mode –he'd need that later trying to get back into the class room.

But no; what he really needed was something more efficient, something more directive. But if anyone dared to call his mode "dictator-mode" he would probably be tempted to _avada_ them. Well no. That was taking it to extremes. But he wouldn't hesitate to _expelliarmius_ them to the other side of no-man's-land.

As his eyes darted around the expanse he gradually released his breath, and with it he bellowed a few simple words of encouragement 'if we want this to bloody well work, get moving people!'

At his words several people rolled their eyes, but all quickened their pace considerably. Lavender even sprinted up towards him –calling out as she did so, 'so have you been taking on some language tips from Ron, Harry?'

Harry chose to not dignify her verbal jab with a response.

Finally the motley bunch of Hogwarts students reached their destination, but like most would under the circumstances, once they had got there, they would have no idea what to do with themselves.

And inwardly, Harry himself felt torn about what was to be done. He loved and cherished the idea of being a spy –it was probably why he had always so ardently held on to the idea of being an Auror – However he could just tell it wasn't working for him right now, which left him with the biggest problem: admitting defeat to Hermione Granger.

He had a feeling it was going to be particularly painful. However, after being ushered inside by Aberforth, He soon found himself getting caught up in the hasty preparations for the wedding ceremony, in which the most painful thing became the pitch and tone of Hermione's voice as she shot out instructions for everyone to complete.

It was really amazing what magic could do in about seventeen seconds. What had once been a grimy and dishevelled 'function' room at the Hogshead was soon pristine and adorned with flowers Neville and Astoria had transfigured using the bowl of peanuts sitting on the bar, and as Harry watched, he found himself praying he'd remembered to take his hay-fever tablet this morning –he had never quite found he mixed very well with nature. It could be quite a lethal combination.

Meanwhile, Hermione was working on a pretty advanced kind of transfiguration to modify Lavender's robes into something resembling a wedding dress, and changing Draco's at the same time to match, and not to mention changing everyone else's –it was a rather exacting and important task.

Tension seemed to have finally arrived; Lavender was started to hyperventilate, and Draco was pacing around the room at alarming speeds and Harry was running around trying to find a paper bag for Lavender as Neville and Astoria worked on distracting the happy couple, as Hermione quickly discussed the vows with Aberforth.

And harry still couldn't find a paper bag. He searched behind the Host's station, he searched in the cupboards under the cash register and after searching behind the bar itself he was still at a loss. There was no paper bag to be found. Finally, after numerous seconds had been wasted Hermione's voice could be heard calling him.

'Harry, have you got the paper bag?'

'No, Hermione, I can't bloody well find one!'

'Don't you use such language, and you are a wizard, aren't you?'

This time it was Harry's turn to face-palm. Of course, why hadn't he thought to _accio_ or transfigure something into a paper bag? He blamed it on having to spend time at the Dursley's. It could really mess with you.

But finally, the paper bag was conjured, and the wedding ceremony could finally begin. Harry couldn't help checking his watch; they only had one minute to have the ceremony and get back to Hogwarts. And time seemed to be running dangerously close to wire.

A/N: well I'm sorry this too me so long to get up! Between schoolies/shortcourse/work/Christmas/newyears, and then losing this chapter and having to totally re-write it, it's done. And I hope it was enjoyable, as I realise the tone changed quite a bit between this and the last one… so enjoy :)

Thanks to _XedwardismyromeoX, xXMizLilyEvansXx, Gandalf the Grey-Edelwiess, Lily Witchcraft_ and_ cancel21_ for commenting/reviewing, as always, I love to hear what you're all thinking about it so far :) and it is much appreciated.


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